I’m not usually one to bitch, wait, that’s a lie, I bitch all the time… let me start again, I’m not one to bitch about my ‘author’ life. I LOVE it. When I think about being ‘Skyla Madi‘ I feel like crying, not out of sadness or stress, but out of passion and love. Words don’t do my emotions justice when it comes to my thoughts and feelings about writing. I’m 99% happy with my job… BUT, it’s the constant flow of messages I receive daily–weekly–if I’m lucky, that make up that last 1% that absolutely exhausts me.
I’ll start this huge rant by saying that when I started, I had nobody to help me. I did EVERYTHING myself. Not once did it ever cross my mind to message an author and demand help or a free ride to get where they are. Look at any accomplished author and you’ll see that they’ve been writing for YEARS (most cases, anyway). Don’t get me wrong, I love messages and I love helping people. It’s in my nature. I even reply to people who send me messages in another language, hell, I go out of my way to translate that bitch and have Google translate what I want to say in return, but I CAN’T do it everyday. It’s exhausting–especially when I have to try and decipher a horribly spelled and punctuated message <- which says a lot coming from me, even I’m lazy when it comes to that stuff.
If I receive a nice enough message asking for tips, no problem, I can help–although I have no idea why you’d ask me for tips, I have none. I didn’t follow any instructions… I just did it. I clicked buttons and sent emails. That was it. I know, right? How anti-climactic. I don’t have some huge, exciting success story. My first book wasn’t a crazy bestseller that shot me to the top of the charts. My first book was horrible, my second better, my third = alright, but no cigar and my fourth? I should have tried harder. It took 2 years for me to produce a book like Consumed and still I get all self-judgy (if that’s even a word) and want to re-write it. I wrote 4 books and only had 300 likes on my Facebook page. FOUR BOOKS! After Consumed, my page jumped by 2,000 likes and THAT’S how I know my writing is improving.
Long story short, I don’t feel like I’m in any position to help anybody. I’m only just getting the hang of it after many books I’d refer to as my ‘failures’.
Also, no, I can’t share your book. Why would I share your book if I’ve never read it? I’ll only share a book if I’ve read and loved it. And no, I won’t like your page because you liked mine. All of the pages I like are things I genuinely have interest in. Don’t recruit me to boost your likes. If I’ve liked a page of an author I haven’t read yet it’s because we socialised on threads and in groups and I like them as a person and wouldn’t mind getting one of their books. It works as a reminder. Not to mention, I write romance so I’m not going to like your sci-fi page.
I hate feeling like a bitch. I hate having to moan and complain–especially when I could be writing one of my (long list of) novels, but I can’t tolerate it any more. I’ve even resorted to listening to Korn and Rage Against the Machine to ease some of my frustration. I haven’t listened to them since I went through my ‘angry’ stage as a teenager. (LOL!) Lastly, no, I won’t marry you. I’m already married and although I’m sure you’re a nice person it’s actually illegal to have two husbands, I know, I’ve already tried to get extra help around the house, but apparently there’s a thing called bigamy and it’s frowned upon here. ;)
Come on guys, you want to be an author? Put in the hard yards like everybody else. Stop looking for handouts. It’s actually insulting. I struggled, I struggled so hard to improve. I read all of my negative reviews, looking for clues that could help me. (FYI reading negative reviews actually kills your soul, but don’t worry, it works like sipping vervain. I can tolerate it now)I took every slice of information my editor and publisher gave me and thought long and hard about it. In between novels I wrote shitty short stories, trying to improve and I am improving. The day I stop pissing off my editor with my crappy wording is the day I’ll stop trying to improve. The day one of my novels has 100,000 ratings and a 5 out of 5 star average is the day I’ll stop trying to improve.
Did you spend MONTHS writing a book thinking it’s the greatest thing in the world only to publish it and one person downloads it (thanks Mum!)? Let it go and write another. Write a better one. When that fails, write another. Keep going. Demand people to take notice of you. Make them see your name everywhere because people are raving about your book, not because you’re harassing them to share your link or like your page. Don’t degrade yourself. You wrote a damn book, that is AWESOME! But don’t assume everyone else thinks it is.
Ahhhh, that feels better. I hope those reading this don’t take it as a ‘DON’T MESSAGE ME!’ threat. I don’t mean that at all. I love hearing from people and even like to mindlessly chat about random things, but please don’t message me, asking me to harass my followers. Facebook’s algorithm is annoying. The more frequently you post, the less people see so that shit is precious and I like to save it for important things like teasers or half naked men.
Anyway, that’s me for the night. I guess I should get my writing on.
Peace and love to all.